1. “I refuse to toilet-train my child. That’s an invasion of their privacy. And besides, I really don’t want to.”
2. “Allowing my child unrestricted access to the internet 24/7 isn’t child neglect, sometimes I let them go outside for a bit so I can charge my phone.”
3. “iPad babies aren’t a bad thing. Cocomelon children grow up to be YouTube Shorts adults and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”
4. “My children aren’t vegan because I am vegan. They are vegan because I am divorced and I knew it would piss off my ex-husband enough to start paying alimony.”
5. “If anyone accuses my kid of doing something bad I’ll go on live TV and say that their teacher is plotting to kill the president. Who cares if it’s true? They need to learn that their actions have consequences.”
6. “If my kid fails his class I’ll go on live TV and say that their teacher is plotting to kill the president. Who cares if it’s true? They need to learn that their actions have consequences.”
7. “I called my son ‘Luke’ because I’m religious. I called my daughter ‘Braedeyleigh’ because I hate her.”
8. “Sometimes I vlog when my children aren’t even in the room. What can I say? I’m such a bad mom haha!”
9. “There’s no such thing as a poorly behaved child. Some kids are just naturally inclined to abuse others and you really just have to let them do their thing with no intervention whatsoever.”
10. “These are my six children: Luke, Braedeyleigh, Annahleigh, Bluebereigh, Tanner, and Sertraline. I named them after my drug prescriptions. None of them know how to read, thank God.”

Ava Young