There was chaos at break time today at Ivyhead Primary School after a lynx was released as part of a rewilding project.

None of the schoolchildren were injured as far as we’re aware but there have been some reports of the lynx letting out a loud burp with a suspiciously child shaped stomach.

“We’re not scientists in the way your thinking of, its just our last name, like how some families are named Baker” John Scientist told The Marshland Angel, “Oh… also we’re very sorry for any disruption to lessons caused by a lynx prowling the playground during breaktime and lunchtime”. Susan, 36 reached out to The Marshland Angel to tell us this, “It’s really not appropriate for a lynx to be prowling the playground without being properly DBS-checked. I hope the school has looked into this!”

The lynx left the Primary school playground but may still be in the area, John Scientist has stated “He’s just a sort of cute cat really, if you think about it.”

Conan Roberts