A recent run for the dog-mayoral representative for a rural village in Barnsley has caused a stir with claims of species-ist and breed-ist comments for one of the runners. Ralph, the Golden Retriever candidate has come under fire after a Bichon Frise (name undisclosed for privacy purposes) described that offensive and insensitive phrases were used in his campaign to become the new pooch pres. Rumours spiral declaring his hatred has no bounds: “small dogs are like rats to me,” “I don’t believe in poop bins,” and “Canines with eye-crusts need to go back to puppy training school.”

The distasteful remarks do not stop with his fellow dogs, with cats also experiencing a specific kind of disgust in his declarations. It is reported that he described felines as “selfish and boring” with his overarching statement “dogs are man’s best-friend, cats are just their biggest headache, we should be indoor pets and they can be outdoors pets, and that’s me being liberal!”

There have been local whispers concerning a response to the allegations, but no concrete statement has been reported. However, there have been whispers from sources close to Ralph, that he references the incidents as simply “dog park talk,” hopefully we will hear something more respectable soon. His owners have stayed out of the limelight during this time, with few sightings of them on the neighbourhood footpaths.

Nana Margaret