1. Period pain: The concept of female suffering was not a thing until Reagan made it so. Rumour has it he created period pain after his second wife Nancy told him his hairline was “wack” over boiled chicken dinner one night.
2. Male pattern baldness: Reagan created this to supposedly distract everyone from how racist his policies were. It did not work.
3. Hair transplant for receding hairline: To try and ameliorate the aforementioned issue.
4. The public hanging of Crazy Frog and the controversy that followed: Legend has it that Reagan wanted to create a character more insufferable than he was and thus Crazy Frog was born. However, upset at the attention this sexually perverted cartoon nightmare was receiving, he ordered him cancelled, humiliated, and then killed.
5. At least one of Trisha Paytas’ babies: Her womb is haunted by Republican influence, I just can’t prove it.
6. The labubu: Similar origin story to that of the Crazy Frog.
7. Ads for “Better Help”: Reparations for the War on Drugs.
8. Conservative yaoi: He just needed an outlet.
9. Holes (2003): Almost as nightmarish as the man himself.
10. Sydney Sweeney’s American Eagle jeans advert: Do I really need to explain this one?

Ava Young