The last few years have seen incredibly high rates of inflation that have been steadily seeping into every side of everyday life. Everyone gets higher grades these days? Inflation. Socks no longer fitting around your ankles? They haven’t lost their elasticity, they have simply inflated and are now too big for your feet. Spiders seeming bigger than normal? That’s inflation too. More hot air balloons in the sky than there used to be? 

You get the picture…

But enough about all that, this past few years has seen a troublesome trend. The tried and tested panic master’s whereby a student can cling onto youth is no longer enough. Higher education has not escaped the toilsome tendrils of this topical timely trend. 

A leading economist on the topic, Dr. Dr. Michael Stevens PhD. PhD. MSc. BSc. A-Level. GCSE. 50m Swimming Badge, had this to say, “It’s quite simple really, PhDs are bigger than Master’s which are bigger than Bachelor’s degrees. With everything getting bigger it simply follows that a “Panic Master’s” becomes a “Panic PhD”. However, I would also like to posit that it may perhaps be better to downgrade the “Panic Masters” to a “Disconcerted Master’s” to keep the “Panic” title for the highest level. 

Conan Roberts