Count Binface has been under pressure as leader of the Count Binface party; his unsuccessful campaign in Makerfield, Earth and his U-turn on price capping the Wigan Kebab to £2 has left many recyclons unhappy with this Earth-like shadiness. Critics say his importing of British democratic values like lofty promises followed by lofty-er promises and inaction is a threat to Sigma XI’s tradition of honest and transparent politicians. Critics point to a failure to deliver on his promise of “cutting your taxes and raising everyone else’s” as a particular headache for Binface’s credibility as a candidate for the upcoming Sigma XI general election next eon.

In light of this instability, The Count Binface Party looked poised to elect a leader other than Count Binface for the first time in its history, until, in a statement on Tuesday, Binface announced a by-election on Sigma XI, hoping to win a planetary seat he is already sure to win as a show of strength.

Binface’s obliteration of other major parties with his giant death beam has drawn criticism from those hoping for a free election on Sigma XI, however, his biggest opponent in this by-election may be a satirist from Earth.

Nigel Farage, known to the majority of recyclons as a comedy candidate meant to poke fun of Earth-like politics, seems poised to be his biggest opponent. Sporting a comedy tie, bright blue suit and Union Jack flags, Nigel Farage’s brand is all about pints, corruption and silly Earth mannerisms. Nigel Farage’s policies include “receiving a no-strings-attached £5 million donation from crypto billionaires” and “receiving a no-strings-attached donation of a milkshake without any evidence of payment.”

Despite his obvious silliness many anti-Binface tactical voters have been soundly won over. With other major Sigma XI parties “withdrawing” from the race, only Nigel Farage has said directly that he will stand against Binface. Though an obviously silly candidate, the more satirically-minded recyclons would relish the thought of an obviously corrupt leader being replaced by one who only pretends to be corrupt…right?

Lorcan Ray